I am so tired of reading blog after blog about “those crappy Mormons,” mostly by those who are disaffected by the Church. I can completely understand that someone who has been a part of an organization after a time decides that it no longer serves its purpose in one’s life. I agree with people that when a lifestyle becomes toxic, it is time to part ways with said lifestyle. I REALLY understand why it is at times so very difficult to cut ties with the Church. There really are a lot of “crappy Mormons” who make your life a living hell for trying to do what you feel is best for you. It is never nice to have someone citing scripture to prove to you your eternal damnation for your very personal choices.
What I don’t understand is why, when people leave, they feel the need to bash those who stay. Why can’t we just believe as we believe and be left alone, just as you want to believe and be left alone? There are several people out there who left the Church years ago, and still persist in coming around to those of us who belong and berate us for our choices. They write blog post after blog post about their disaffection, which to me, shouts loudly that their “peace and calm” after leaving is anything but.
I also understand that it takes a lot of processing to leave the Church. Family expectations, bloodlines, personal history, all come into play. Re-defining those things is no small task. Negativity has a way of making itself out in one way or another. But that is the unhealthiest manner to work through the re-defining process. You would be building only by tearing down another, which is false. You feel yourself getting higher, but in reality you are merely staying where you are, while your surroundings are diminishing.
If you were treated badly by Church members, that really sucks. I understand the pain associated with that. However, the Church is not the Doctrine. The people are just people. Some of them totally suck as people, and others are amazing. Please don’t base your affiliation on any person. Regardless of their position, claim to authority, power, or notoriety. It is the Doctrine that should be your guide.
Yeah, this is so much easier said than done, but it really breaks my heart that so many that are disaffected have left because of the crappy people that surround them. What really gets me is that I have most likely been one of those crappy people.
So, to those of you out there whom I have judged, disparaged, looked down on or doubtfully at, I apologize. I am not who I should be, but I am trying, just as you are. Don’t leave the Church because of my idiocy. But please, don’t throw back at we who stay, what “those crappy mormons” are throwing at you. Don’t stoop to their level. Find your peace, and follow it. And let me find mine.
The same could be said for many people who leave hetero marriages and find gay partners. Just because you found your bliss, doesn’t mean that is the answer for someone else. There is plenty of room for discourse, disagreement and debate, but there is no room for disparagement and disrespect. (now I sound like Uchtdorf.)
This is purely emotional, and poorly written. I’m sure I’ve left swiss cheese-sized holes in my rhetoric that anyone could climb through, so have at it. I still think I’m right. 🙂