About

I married my gay husband in 1996.  I knew about his orientation prior to our engagement, and, like him, thought that if we followed the words of the prophet, we would be blessed.  We have been greatly blessed, but not in the way that we thought.  Yes, we have had a beautiful marriage, yes we have had kids who we love, but no, the “gayness” has not diminished even a tiny little bit.  In fact, it has gotten stronger and has been begging to be let out.

Sometimes it gets its wish.

The format of this blog will be random thoughts and vents.  I need a safe place to decompress.  I would love input, feedback, questions, love, recipes, whatever you want to share.

Thanks for reading!

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5 thoughts on “About

  1. Mandi,

    You disabled comment? I wanted to wish & Mikeal a happy anniversary. Way to go! I love and respect you both tremendously. Remind me to send you a little song/poem I wrote about our 25 years of marriage. I was crazy enough to sing it with Alison at the Couples Summit.

    Take care,
    Steve

  2. I came across your blog via your comments on ‘To the One in Four’ blog.

    It does get easier. This has been portrayed in the media campaign against ‘bullying’ lately regarding coming out and embracing you sexuality.

    From my perspective that is true…however, my statement that, ‘It gets easier.’ has to do with remaining, chaste, faithful, active in the Gospel and in the Church. I am, I’m guessing, twice your age and have been there where you are (except for the kids). I did marry and we were very much in love with each other. Our marriage ended but not due to my sexuality. She was aware of my experimentations prior to our marriage. I was aware of her several lovers before we married as well (she was a new convert and way more experienced than I). We lived in a huge city, a hotbed of gay activity. We were both in the acting profession so consequently had associations with countless gay men, women, boys and girls.

    When we divorced, I went on a ‘liberation’ free-for-all. I have seen and done pretty much anything you could imagine sexually.

    Suffice it to say, I became very ‘experienced’. However, to make a long story short (if you would like to discuss it in length I would be happy to do so) there was and is a road back. The temptation, tendencies, urges, whatever you want to call them can be overcome. I am living proof.

    I sympathize with you struggles, I have empathy for your husband’s emotions, attractions, lusts etc. It does not have to come down to ‘being yourself’ or ‘turning your back on the Church’. Sadly that is the choice many feel they must make.

    Homosexual attractions are in fact natural, to some, not to others. The thing is, the natural man is an enemy to God. Part of our probation here (and it is only a part) is to learn obedience and to overcome the natural man. I am single, active in Church, temple worthy, and a what shall I say, ‘born again virgin’ for over 15 years and I don’t miss my old life. It saddens me when I see the angst that these church members are going through. I see them making bad choices and the spiritual damage many of them are bringing into their lives and I see them as they came into this life. I see the dashed hopes and dreams their parents had for them as they held them in their arms and welcomed them to mortality. How can I feel anything for them but love and compassion. They are after all my brothers and sisters. I can disagree with their use of their agency without hating them. Disagreement does not equate to ‘homophobia’. I neither hate them nor fear them as opposed to what the media and the gay activists would like to portray, with their broad paint brush, me and all those who disagree or oppose their politics.

    Your brother in the Gospel,
    (I respectfully ask that my e-mail address not be posted, I don’t need a bunch of hate mail. I get enough spam already.)
    James

  3. Pingback: 2010 in review « Married to a MoHo*

  4. I want to thank you for writting about how you are still happy in your marriage. I recently found out that my father is attracted to men. My Mom told me that she knew before they got married and they’ve been married for over 30 years now. I felt better knowing that it wasn’t a secret from my Mom and that they still love eachother, but I’m afraid that I will always have questions in the back of my mind. It’s makes me feel better to know that couples out there can have a strong marriages and be good members of the church, even in this situation.

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