I was recently contacted by a wife in a mixed orientation marriage. Her question was whether or not a MOM can survive with one spouse not living the faith. She is contemplating leaving the church, but her husband is firm in his faith.
“You will be amazed what your marriage can weather! If one of you is committed to keeping it together, it will survive. We both went through a major faith crisis- Mikeal much longer and deeper than mine- but because we loved each other and deeply desired the kids to have an intact family we were determined to stay together and live with the unanswerable questions. Actually our “reasons” for staying together changed regularly. At one point we actually did decide to split up, but he spent his entire time while looking for apartments on the phone with me. We realized that our love for each other was so deep and real and that we could work our way through. So we did.
Eventually we both found our faith and that the faith path brought much more strength and happiness than we ever felt on our own. All of the answers were there and even more vibrant and real than I ever knew. The gospel is thrilling to me, and the power that comes to our marriage when we rely on God first then each other is humbling. I never expected to feel completely fulfilled in my marriage and was willing to accept that in order to stay with the man and kids I loved. But I do feel fulfilled and desired and complete. I can honestly say that I would make this same choice all over again. I wish it didn’t take a major 6 year marriage and faith upheaval to arrive here, but it was worth every sleepless night, uneaten meal and tear shed.
Have i gotten dramatic enough?
Part three of the film never posted. It would be nice to see more just to get a better feel for who we are. I never anticipated that a 25 minute discussion of our intimate life would be shown to our closest friends and strangers alike. 🙂 I’m glad you saw value in it. (She had asked about our Far Between video)
I would encourage you to find God and learn to trust Him. Study the Atonement and make Christ the center of your decisions and reactions. When we see the world through a lens of Christlike charity, people become precious and your choices reflect kindness and understating.
I would add that “surviving” in marriage is a short-term solution and that the one-faithful-member status rarely is sustainable over the long-term. A part-member family is difficult on its own, but in a MOM without having
something larger than “self” or even “couple” to be the impetus behind sticking it out, the foundation is just too shaky, the opposition too strong to withstand. I would love to be proven wrong, but I will always cast my lot with the Gospel.