Jody- again

These responses just keep getting longer and longer.  And as much of this reflects my journey, I hope you don’t mind me posting them this way so more people can read and see where Husband and I have been.

You can’t wait for him to decide or to become or to be anything.  That is tying your happiness and sanity to his, and believe me, he is insane right now.  His world most likely will be topsy turvy for a long time coming, so make your own way starting now.  You are the sky, and he and his stuff are merely dust and clouds.  You will always remain blue and serene, no matter what his storms kick up.  Reality is that no matter what he or anyone else in this world does, it does not change who you fundamentally are or what your purpose is.
Don’t be angry at him for not telling you what he does not know.  He is in a whirlwind of confusion, guilt, euphoria, freedom and despair to name a few.  His decision will go from one end of the spectrum to the other in a matter of minutes, so to ask him to commit to any one train of thought is way out of reach.  And remember- it isn’t completely his decision.
Be the sky.  Let him be his own sky.  You have a marvelous opportunity to grow into someone that you never imagined, and you can study under the Master if you will just show up to class and do the homework. 🙂
This may or may not resonate with you right now, but more on the subject of reality can be found at: http://www.arvindguptatoys.com/arvindgupta/tonyawareness.pdf  Tony DiMello was a jesuit priest who spoke on awareness and enlightenment and peace, etc. . .  His teachings reflect the Christ that I know in my heart.  Don’t feel bad if it just isn’t sinking in for you.  It is just something that is working for me right now.
Also, if you are LDS, Catherine Thomas wrote a book that completely rocked my world- Light in the Wilderness.  Completely amazing.  http://www.amazon.com/Light-Wilderness-Explorations-Spiritual-Life/dp/B001TI503E
And for today: just be in the moment, and breathe.  Do not look to tomorrow, and most definitely do not look to next year.  Just be here.  Feel the floor, feel the air, feel your heart beat, and thank your Creator for those miracles. Every other second if you have to.

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4 thoughts on “Jody- again

  1. Ok so I’ve begun to read some of that stuff from Tony and I’m loving it! I also looked up that other book and interestingly enough as I was reading the reviews came across another book by Jacques Lusseyran that I’ve started to read as well. Wow. I like light. This is so intriguing. So glad I read your blog! 🙂

  2. Once again, you are a fountain of knowlege, yet I know I have to find my own way. You are right, I know deep down that he cannot make any decisions right now and I need to find my own peace, however frustrating that sounds right now. I’ve never had my patience or faith tried like this before. I am beginning to see the church the way it really is, not in a bad way, but I am trying to focus on the purity and positiveness of it all instead of getting bogged down in culture and habit which seem to be what I was relying on for so many years. My eyes have been opened so much these past few weeks, there are worlds beyond my little one here that are so rich, and others not so much. I see my potential and am frightened to take a step in that direction, but with faith, hope, and support, I do feel it is a path worth traveling.

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