it’s me – MNJ. if you were expecting the lovely MH, well, she’s on vacay with the kids & i’m stuck here with out a car (i just dropped it at the shop). i’ll be meeting up with them in a week or so. we were in UT last weekend and ran the wasatch back – ragnar relay. O H M Y H E C K it was incredible. our team – the roaming gnomes – included two of our bestest BF’s and the rest of the bunch we didn’t know till race day when they crammed us into mini vans to head out on the trail. what made the race amazing was mostly this group of strangers that instantly engulfed us into their realm & loved us without hesitation! it has altered me. there were so many moments where real – true love was shown without reserve. i dream of what the life in heaven will feel like. i think that i was shown a glimpse. i want all the world to see it and feel it and know it and understand it and live it – and i don’t want this feeling in my heart to ever fade! if we could forget judgment, and i’m not even talking about the big judgments. we need more “assume positive intent” for the actions of other people. we need less judgment of self because the judgment of others is often an effort to lift ourselves in some way. a talk i heard recently commented that the final judgment will probably be a breeze compared to what we put each other through here on earth. i tend to love quickly and deeply. this trait hasn’t always served me well. there are people who have come & gone through out my life that still hold deep places in my heart. like hand prints (thank you wicked) that don’t ever fade. the idea that this journey of life is to become something has been rolling around in my head the past few weeks a lot. what do i want to become? how do i want to live? i know most of you have figured out the answers to these questions to some degree but here at 41 i’m just waking up to these possibilities. i think mid-life crisis could be at play here. i’m not running out to buy a fast car or trade wife #1 in for a newer model. i just want to NOT be the person i have been. the person i have been has not lived with integrity. the person i have been has cared more of what others thought of him than actually CARING for others. one of our gnomes left for a distant land to care others the day after the race. i’m ready to sell off our junk & head out with MH & kido’s, to see where we could lend a hand. but really, there are opportunities right here, all around. my issue is that my junk tends to get in the way. if i could leave it all behind i’d be able to see clearly. . .
just some ramblings – wanted to say hey. MNJ