P&M – it’s what’s for dinner. i have been addicted to meat & potato’s for a really big part of my life and DIDN’T EVEN KNOW! Now the problem is, how do i change the menu & loose the weight? i’ve tried portion control. i’ve tried fasting ( that just made me hungrier ). heaven knows i exercise enough. and yet, the poundage continues to creep up – total creepy lurker status. when you were a kid, among the other noble professions you aspired to, police officer, construction worker, army officer – oh, wait, that’s the village people – was creepy lurker up there in your top five? it wasn’t in mine but yet here i am. lurking in the shadows for some beef. i don’t like it. i feel sick after i indulge but i can’t seem to get enough.
here’s the thing, i never saw it coming! yeah – right you say. but really, i never perused potato mag’s, shopping on line for beef happened maybe a handful of times ( till about three years ago. now it’s full on bulimia – total binge & purge. it’s not pretty. the enamel on my teeth is starting to wear away ), which made me the model of restraint right? WRONG! here’s where the light bulb comes on and we find out just how many rats there really are in the kitchen. in an effort to eat a “healthy” diet with my not so gay queen ( my reference to her as a queen is NOT IN NO WAY EVEN KIND OF RENOUNCING MY CLAIM AS QUEEN OF ALL THE LAND – HA! ), when dinning, no matter the how elegantly the dish is prepared, i have always had to dream of beef, in it’s many delectable varieties, in order to get through the main course to dessert. which by the way, is NOT a reflection on the cook, she is a pretty tasty slice of pie – the fact that i’m gay does not render my taste buds, well, tasteless. just not a big fan of pie. some times it worked, other times – not so much, and now, NOT AT ALL! so – here i am, eating take out when there is a healthy home cooked meal waiting for me to cowboy up & cut the beef out of my life. it’s starting to get unhealthy. my blood pressure is up, my waistline is expanding, it just flat out taking years off my life. where do i go from here? and i really mean it – WHERE DO I TURN HERE? i don’t believe the “jenny craig weight lose clinic” is up to snuff. i want a betty ford type detox. some where i can lounge poolside while sun tanned pool boys bring me grapes . . . dang – got off track there! deep breath. okay, so, a while ago when the lido deck was still open, i asked the question of all you homo’s who are trying to eat pie when you really want beef, how to eat the offered dish & find satisfaction. many helpful suggestions were made. ALL of which – for me & i would propose YOU – are not healthy choices. they just perpetuate my desire for meat & potato’s.
AGAIN – it would be pointless to get out. we would end up living together anyway because i cant live with out her & our kids. i’ve been trying to tell myself that sex is not a big deal. but that’s bogus. sex is a really big deal. the fact that i don’t want it with her is a huge strain on our relationship & a big bite to her sense of self worth. truth be told, it’s a big bite out of my self worth as well. a friend of mandi’s said to her once, “i have an incredible sex life. but i don’t have all that you & MNJ have as far as a relationship goes. it stops at the sex. you have EVERYTHING but sex & i would give up all the sex to have what you have.” i see us sliding into the roommate zone more & more every day. I also see her trying harder & harder to pull out a new recipe that i might find interest in while i turn more & more to meat and potato’s. i know she will read this & think i’m not coming home ( vegas hotel room, watching the sun rise over the desert, another trade show set up – UGH! it’ll be 80 degrees today. i should NOT have to stay inside a dark convention center – POOLSIDE! i did get a chance to shop last night though – that was GOOD ). this is not a last call kind of plea – I AM COMING HOME & i one piece. just venting, with out any hope of real help – no offense guys – i just don’t think there are answers out there.
well – here’s to giving up dessert! may we all live long on the diet!
ps – mandi went to “time out for women & jon jon” in nashville this weekend & texted me that she had “drank the koolaid”! to which i replied – drink it in babe – to which she said “i’m drunk on jesus” i ask you, can you SAY that?