Husband: “Hey, just so you know, I’m in a pretty deep Pon Farr right now.”
Insanely hot wife: “Yeah, I figured as much. You’ve been acting that way.”
Husband: “It’s pretty bad. Like, as in, if a guy walked in right now, I’d be gone. Really gone.”
Brutally intelligent/ insanely hot wife: “Ooookay. Thanks for the info. I think I’ll go gouge out my eyes now.”
Husband: “Oh, I’m sorry, does that make you feel bad?”
Extremely talented/sensitive AND insanely hot wife: “No, not really. I didn’t want to be married that badly anyway. Go ahead and have your fun.”
Husband: “Hey! Thanks! You’re really great! Oh, wait. Is that a hint of sarcasm I detect in your voice?”
Supremely accomplished hot wife: “Oh my! Did I let that slip? Oh, I’m sorry, it’s just that I am kind of in love with you and it would really put a damper on my otherwise blissful situation if we were to split up. And it would look bad on our genius children’s prep school applications.”
Husband: “Well, now that you mention prep school. . . ”
Did you know that mosquitoes have a rebirth after the hot sultry summers in the south, and when they come back they come back in greater numbers and with ferocious appetites for human blood? It is kind of a drag. I had plans for when the weather cooled down to eat dinner outside, to go on walks with the kids, to sit on the porch swing and listen to the golfers cuss at their bad form.
Did you know that sexual ambitions don’t diminish with age? They tend to come back with a vengeance and thirst previously unknown and unless quenched, they just resurface again and again and again until. . . I don’t know what will happen. All I know is that I had been making plans for this whole “unforgettable fire” thing to just fade into the sunset. It doesn’t even have to fade quickly- I’ve become quite patient in my ten years of parenthood. I can settle for molasses slow. But my plans are being thwarted at every turn.
It looks like I need to stop making plans and ride the wave.
Thankfully, I am having one of my two good days per month. Otherwise this whole ‘pon farr’ thing would be pushing me right over the edge. Ironically, I am coming out of a really bad month. Like, if I weren’t medicated I’d be back at Unbalanced Acres bad. But Husband and I tend to be cyclical and thankfully our cycles rarely overlap. Even today, as I started to get bogged down in mental drudgery, Husband was on the rise from his. We balance nicely that way.
So, he asked What to do? I guess we just ride it out and then play up the good so we are prepped and ready for the next onslaught. I would much rather he let it all out all over me- since I pretty much know when it’s going on anyway- than hold it in and really let it out all over someone else. I wonder what kind of damage is being done by this though? It can’t be good, can it? Is it wise to tell your spouse everything? But again, I have a fairly good sense of when it’s happening anyway- so his words merely confirm what I intuitively knew.
There really are no answers. We must create our own. What is right for us must be defined by us.
In the mean time, I’m going to get back to work on curing my “chronic unhappiness.” Who knows? Maybe if I can learn to not be addicted to emotional anguish, I may just be comfortable with his moccasins, his Italian panties, and even his new bracelet.
Who knows. . .