An Open Letter to All of my Fag Friends

To those of you of the Gay Male persuasion I have something to say to you.

As a Gay Guy, you have been given a bit of latitude in a few areas: you are allowed to squeal and throw your hands up when something is thrown in your direction, you are allowed to sing along with Dionne Warwick (or Dolly Parton if you’re in my house,) you’re encouraged to dance and sing at any and all public gatherings, and hey- you can wear metallics!  And Makeup!  Really, I couldn’t begin to imagine anything else you could possibly want.

Which brings me to this:  Female Parts.

Could you leave us alone??  I would encourage you with all the fervor of my soul to refrain from wincing, gagging, or cringing when the female genitalia is mentioned.  I absolutely would never expect or even desire for you to engage in conversation about something that is so foreign to you, but when it comes up, could you at least show a bit of respect for the poor girls?  (I’m talking the bits n’ pieces here- cleavage is free reign.)   In general, we try to keep our parts neatly tucked away and try not to bother you with them.  Could you try to keep your opinions tucked away as well, at least until we are out of earshot?

You see, there just isn’t anything that we can do about it.  We were born this way.  We’re women.  We were given these parts to perform a function.  And they function quite well, I might add.  In fact, pretty miraculous things occur down there.  (If that triggers your gag reflex, that’s a shame, especially since many of you were face to face with it at one point in time.  You know, at birth?)

And if there is anything I could do for you in return, please don’t hesitate to mention it.

Thank you.

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8 thoughts on “An Open Letter to All of my Fag Friends

  1. First off, thank you for your thoughtful comments to my blog posts.

    Secondly, I agree with your post. I never heard or learned so many derogatory terms for the female reproductive organ as I have since I started hanging around gay men. And I’ll be honest, it desensitized me. I used to get annoyed every time they poked fun at women, but it gets to the point where I just laugh along or ignore it. I still wonder sometimes why the gay world is obsessed with it. When I think about what they say in the context of a female person I love and respect, it still upsets me, but otherwise, I don’t interfere with them. Gay guys are so catty that I’d prefer to let them do as they please rather than instigate a futile attempt to make them understand that they’re being disrespectful. So although admittedly I’m a partner in crime for my lack of taking action against the disrespectful acts, I understand where you’re coming from and I will try to at least continue to control whatever comes out of my mouth when it comes to women.

  2. Just felt like leaving a comment because I am new to all this. My husband of 11 years came out to me 2 months ago. I am finally able to read blogs I have read some of yours. Thanks.

    • Oh, Dearest Lois. I hope in the past two months you have found that you are in VERY excellent company. There are thousands of women in our situation. I belong to a couple of online groups that offer some very good perspective and listening ears. I can give you more info if you like. Please feel free to contact me for anything you might need- questions, answers, a listening ear, whatever.
      I’m glad you found me- now let’s get you healing!

      • Thank you so much. It is like there is a world out there that I never knew existed. It has been a crazy couple of months to say the least. We have good days and bad days-just like any marriage, but I think, I hope we can make it.

  3. Respect! Demand it! Or at least ask politely for it. I was raised with nine sisters, and all of them had cleavage. I was not allowed to say anything negative or they would beat me up. I don’t think I would have said anything disparaging regardless. I think women are, like, my second favorite.

  4. Hello Ms. Moon,

    Been a while since I checked your updates. Glad to see you’re still writing a lot. The invitation is still open to do the show (and you will always have the option to have anything you say taken out- you could tell us not to broadcast the whole thing and we would respect your beliefs.)

    Anyway, on topic here- I think that insisting on politically correct terminology among friends is a slippery slope, I mean, you use the term ‘fag’ in this very post. However, here is nothing wrong to say to someone, something like, “I feel really uncomfortable when you disparage my lady garden.” Therefore it remains friendly but you get your point across. Is there a possibility that you are interpreting these comments through your husbands comments (as reported in your post ‘Gifts’ from August 16th) which basically indicated that he had a severe dislike for female body parts?

    Bear in mind, this is just an alternative point of view, and in no way am I claiming my word is gospel. Just hope I gave you something to think about.

    -Fat

    • Mr. Fat! So good to hear from you again!
      First off, mine is the LAST blog to look at if you are interested in fair and balanced analysis. I’m completely biased, and completely ruled by emotion, not logic. You should have figured that out by now, Mr. Journalist. . . 🙂
      You are completely right, but please don’t tell anyone I said so. I’ll deny it to my grave.
      Secondly, your offer is still waiting in the wings. If and when the day comes that Mr. Will and Mr. Gut agree, you will be the first to know. I am deeply flattered by your continued interest.
      Thanks for stopping by-
      Ms. M

  5. That was funny!

    Personally, I am not so much grossed out by the lady parts as I am mystified by them. It’s like a fine Italian sports-car. I can admire it for its beauty, wish to possesses one, maybe even crave a test drive or two on a nice day. I just have no desire to look under the hood and see what makes it run. I wouldn’t understand what I might see, and were I to touch it I’d only mess it up.

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