To those of you of the Gay Male persuasion I have something to say to you.
As a Gay Guy, you have been given a bit of latitude in a few areas: you are allowed to squeal and throw your hands up when something is thrown in your direction, you are allowed to sing along with Dionne Warwick (or Dolly Parton if you’re in my house,) you’re encouraged to dance and sing at any and all public gatherings, and hey- you can wear metallics! And Makeup! Really, I couldn’t begin to imagine anything else you could possibly want.
Which brings me to this: Female Parts.
Could you leave us alone?? I would encourage you with all the fervor of my soul to refrain from wincing, gagging, or cringing when the female genitalia is mentioned. I absolutely would never expect or even desire for you to engage in conversation about something that is so foreign to you, but when it comes up, could you at least show a bit of respect for the poor girls? (I’m talking the bits n’ pieces here- cleavage is free reign.) In general, we try to keep our parts neatly tucked away and try not to bother you with them. Could you try to keep your opinions tucked away as well, at least until we are out of earshot?
You see, there just isn’t anything that we can do about it. We were born this way. We’re women. We were given these parts to perform a function. And they function quite well, I might add. In fact, pretty miraculous things occur down there. (If that triggers your gag reflex, that’s a shame, especially since many of you were face to face with it at one point in time. You know, at birth?)
And if there is anything I could do for you in return, please don’t hesitate to mention it.