Fourteen years!! If you recall, last year on this date, I was unsure about even buying Husband so much as a card for fear that he wouldn’t be around to receive it. Today, we are better than I ever imagined, even better than that!
(Wedding day, 1996. The nail enamel color is Revlon Cherries in the Snow. Husband would later purchase this same color to paint my toenails while in the hospital after giving birth. The pearls were Grammas that she had re-strung for the occasion, the bow on the veil copied the bow my Mom wore to her wedding, and the dress was copied from a magazine. Husband unknowingly picked it. Our wedding date shared the anniversary of Husband’s dear Grandparents, and our reception was held at the Memorial House in Memory Grove, where my Grandparents held their wedding reception exactly 50 years previous.)
Last weekend we celebrated in Nashville. The Indigo Girls were playing at Cheekwood Botanic Gardens, in conjunction with the Dale Chihuly exhibit. Not to be passed up. (see the ponds to the left of the stage- blown glass orbs were floating in the ponds, later to be lit when the sun went down.) It was an extremely sultry night. The heat and humidity were off the charts. The poor roadie on stage was tuning guitars for two hours straight, and they still wouldn’t hold their tune. It made for a very casual atmosphere.
The music was wonderful, the company was even better. It was fun to see all of Nashville’s Lesbians out in force. Some with their partners and kids in tow. Husband was struck by how many were just drop-dead gorgeous. (Not all lesbians wear plaid flannel… though a large percentage did.) I eyed a girl wearing a really cute dress, and she happened to share my build, so upon Husband’s urging, I grabbed her to find out where she got it. After we chatted for a second, I sat down and she, not realizing I was right there, told her friends that “a woman just grabbed me to see where I got my dress!” Am I a WOMAN? As in, old enough that another girl would refer to me as a WOMAN? I swear she wasn’t much younger than me, so am I totally deluded? Shake it off, girl. Just shake it off.
I found that I have (yet another) issue. If I’m out with Husband, I’ve got to look right. He always looks great. I don’t ever want anyone to look at us and think about that poor gay guy stuck with his dumpy wife. This leads to unnecessary self consciousness, which leads to negative thoughts, blah blah blah, but I totally kept it at bay. Such a great feeling to trust that the goodness that comes from letting go of negativity far outweighs the empowerment of holding on to it.
We spent the night at our favorite hotel, Aloft, at which we had spent the previous weekend with the kids. (Just move us in already!) In the morning we went on a very nice, albeit hilly and hot, 8 mile run. When I began running last year, it was partially for me, and partially to fill in where Shane left off. Husband and Shane ran together, so I saw an opening when Shane was no longer part of the picture. (oh, by the way I’ve got a Shane story to share, but not here. This is long enough. Maybe later.) The only problem was that I was too insecure to run with Husband- I didn’t want him to have to slow down to run with me. I was so hung up on being the perfect person for him, so he would love me more, I was losing who I was. The irony was that Husband already loved me as I was, so in trying to become someone else, I was LESS desirable. After a year of learning this, it is pure joy to run with Husband. He slows down for me, and once in a great while (twice in memory) I’ve slowed down for him.
After the run, we discovered a very workable solution to one of our more perplexing issues. Let’s just leave it at that. Maybe one night after I’ve had a bit too much to drink I’ll elaborate.
We got pedis. I don’t know who designs those massage chairs, but if you ever meet one of them, tell them that squeezing my outer thighs while shoving some hard thing between my cheeks is NOT relaxing. Thanks.
We went to Hillsboro Village (where the cool college kids hang out and we pretend that we belong) and got vegan chocolate zucchini cake at Fido. Not that we are vegan, but it looked good. Then we walked around and re-designed our bedroom at a vintage re-do shop. We got chicken salad and tuna nicoise salad and ate at Centennial park. Husband broke a huge chunk of his tooth off on an extra firm pita chip. We served dinner at the Rescue Mission with a group of Seventh Day Adventists. They sang their hymns at the tops of their lungs while dishing slop on to trays. I knew two of their songs and joined them, and threw in the occasional “amen” at appropriate times. You just have to, you know? We got tasty treats at a serve yourself frozen yogurt place with toppings like Cap’n Crunch and mini yogurt chips. Then we eased our way back into reality by returning some stuff to Target before we headed home.
So today is our Anniversary. After all of the hoopla, glitz and sparkle of last weekend, I woke up today (well, actually I didn’t wake up, because I never went to sleep- we have a sick kid) feeling a little let down that there is nothing to “do” today. It’s same-old same-old here. But after discussing it with the ever-wise Husband, I realized that it is better this way. We got all of the fun, surface stuff out of the way, and now we can focus on what this day really means. We can remember the hot summer Monday 14 years ago, where we knelt across the altar and pledged to one another for eternity.
That’s no small thing.