Husband just sent me this email. (And since it is in an email I know it is true.) Here is his:
ARIES – The Aggressive (March 21 – April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be ‘right’. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
He thought he was pretty cool since it said he is a good kisser. For those of you (who deserve an award of some sort) who have read us from the beginning, you may remember the story of our first (several) kiss(es.) Not good. He has always maintained that HE was the good kisser, and I was the bad kisser. Frankly, since he had kissed people of both gender, and was four years older than I, and had started kissing at a much younger age, I figured he was probably more well-versed which meant he was right. I was a bad kisser. (even though nobody had complained before, and even though I stopped counting, I knew I had kissed a lot of guys.) All these years I have doubted my ability and have tried in earnest to learn from him what makes a good kiss. All these years I have spent feeling bad about myself and the sub-par performance of my mouth.
Fast-forward to 2009 when it was confirmed; It wasn’t that I was a bad kisser, he just didn’t LIKE kissing me because of the whole gender/genitilia thing. NOW he tells me. big jerk.
NOW it is confirmed. I AM a good kisser! My e-horoscope says so! RIGHT HERE IN PRINT! I want do-overs. I want to go back to that night in Gramma and Grampas entry hall and put my foot down and look Husband (then-boyfriend) in the eye and say, “I am an excellent kisser! You simply don’t have the ability to recognize it.”
TAURUS – The Tramp (April 20 – May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fights for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self centered and if they want something, they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
(the TRAMP? I like it.)