Anonymity

We started blogging to connect, to vent, to share and to heal.

We keep blogging for the same reasons.

When we began, we didn’t know a soul “out there.”  That made it easy to say whatever we felt or thought.  Over the past few months we have met and established relationships with several of you.  These relationships are built upon the candor of our writing, and therefore there is an honesty present that doesn’t threaten to hurt or offend.

However, there are readers that we don’t know about.  Readers that we may know outside of this realm, readers with whom we don’t share this honesty.  Once they open us up- the blogger anonymity becomes false.

I have been operating under this false sense of anonymous security for a while now.  I have felt liberated by the freedom to express all of my insecurities, dislikes and whatever else may be unattractive, to the masses of unknown and unsuspecting public who happen to click here.  (And some days, there are masses.  That is always astounding to me.)

So- now I know some of you.  There are many who I don’t know read this but that I know elsewhere.  I moved from my last address so I could avoid a few people- trusting them to respect my wishes and not try to find me again.  I don’t want to have to edit my words.  But what do I do now?  Do I edit?  Do I go private so I don’t have to edit?  Do I risk offense and airing dirt to those who can do ill with it?  Do I close up shop and move on?

For those of you who read Husband’s blog- he is undergoing this process of decision, but has decided to go private until he decides what his next move will be.

We will be here for as long as it is healthy- which I hope will be forever.  What form that takes is up for question.

But for now- I’ll refrain from giving my opinions on masturbation (mixed,) my thoughts about the cute guy who cheered me on during the race (explicit,) and stick to the less risky subjects like the price of organic snack foods (insane,) and my devotion to my fantastically gay husband (undying.)

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9 thoughts on “Anonymity

  1. This is the reason our blog closed. I think it was good to be able to talk when you really didn’t feel like you could talk to anyone. Since then, I’ve come completely out of the closet and am happily living as a gay man in a mixed orientation marriage. It has taken me awhile to discover that authenticity is more about being able to wake up happy than it is able where you put your privates. Now granted, I don’t have the same expectations as most of the Moho board because we have removed our names from the records of the church, but there are certainly still a lot of society expectations regardless.

    We stopped our blog, and made it private, as we were more able to speak publicly about our lives and situation.

    • Carter- Yours is just the type of blog that I crave to read- hence my hesitation in going private. There will always be someone out there who wants or needs to hear what we have to say. Yes, there will be things that offend or whatever, but all in all, ours are the stories that need to be told. I’m the happily married straight girl in a mixed orientation marriage.

  2. I’ll miss the old you just as I miss husband’s blog. I have faced some of the same questions of anonymity, but have concluded that I am who I am and blogging my true feelings is healthy for ME. I blog for ME. May sound selfish, but it is the truth. If I polish and edit my posts, it becomes showmanship and not the authentic me.

    You two are awesome, and I enjoy sharing in the journey.

  3. I so enjoy your blog. Even though we are a different places in the same journey, a lot of the feelings are the same. I came to the blogging world for the very same reason you did, a need to vent and a need to connect with others so not to feel so alone in my journey.

    I loved what you said about your undying devotion to your gay husband. I feel the same way. Even though we are not together, I still love him, still cherrish him, and in many ways still devoted to him. I doubt that will ever change, in fact I know it will not, even if I get remarried. He holds a part of my heart, and is the father of my children, two things that I will carry forever.

    • That just kills me. I cannot imagine ever living your life. I don’t think I could muster the strength it would take. I’m proud to know you.

  4. Tonight is my first time reading and it has been a therapy to me. But I guess I still count as one of those you don’t know that is “elsewhere” reading this. My path is a bit different (my husband isn’t gay, but a porn addict), but I was amazed how many of the same feelings we share, and it is SUPER refreshing to know someone else feels them. (And to hear it the way you write it!) I jumped into the ‘anonymous blogging world’ a few months ago, but fell out because I didn’t really search for the community that is out there… I want to start up again, because I hope that someone can randomly get the same therapy some late night like I got from yours. That is also why I hope you don’t go private, though I now see the reasoning. In any case, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

    • YOU’RE WELCOME YOU’RE WELCOME! Thanks for commenting! I started blogging to connect, and to help as well. It has become different, though, as I can find the connections I need through reading other blogs, and the exposed feeling get unnerving at times. However, when I get a random comment from someone new, that makes me want to keep myself out there.

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